So, who are you? I mean really. Who are you? When you don’t know who you are or don’t know and understand your own worth and value, others won’t dig deep to find it for you. They are looking for their own. It’s important to get clear on who you truly are and embrace the real you, because until you do, you can’t expect anyone else to.

To embrace is to accept readily without any reservation, explanation, or justification; to take in the entire complete package, as is. No rejecting or returning to sender.

When I think of real, as in the real you, I think, someone who is authentic; genuine. You don’t have to pretend or put on for someone else to believe in you. You can count on real. Real is a sure thing. Can that be said of you?

Are you being represented as the individual you see yourself as being? Is the response you’re getting from others validating who you see yourself to be?

Before I was clear on who I was and the direction I wanted to take in life it was much easier for me to follow and take action after someone else who knew where they were going; or so I thought. Because I didn’t know for myself which action to take, I would delay, put things off, and make it a lot more complicated than it really was.

The thing I later learned was the people I “thought” were clear, was just as confused on their own journey. So, I concluded that nobody knew the path I should take better than me. And with that I became much more selective and embraced the real me.

When you don’t have a clue as to where to start, think about your values and priorities. What’s really important to you? You know this when no one else does, in a way no one else does. This is what makes you uniquely you, having your own distinct personality. Take the time to learn things about yourself. For the person who has no idea where to start for this, here are some examples:

• Are you a morning person or a night person? And how do you determine this? When are you energized, when the sun is coming up or going down? And when you feel full of energy, what is it you want to do? What are you excited about doing?
• When someone lies to you, how does it make you feel? If it bothers you, a value of yours could be honesty. That means you’re honest and you place a high value on others to be as well. If not, it can become a problem for you.
• Spending time with family and/or friends could be a priority for you. This means that even with a full, busy, and hectic schedule, you make time for those who are important to you, and doing the things you enjoy doing.

These are just a few examples of values or items of importance. Think about it and come up with what matches you. It’s not only important to know what you want for your life and relationships, it is imperative that you are clear on this, because if you’re not, confusion is bound to show up with reinforcement in a variety of ways.

Your life is what YOU make of it!

If it’s to be, it really is up to you. People can counsel, coach, and give you all sorts of ideas, suggestions, and recommendations; but at the end of the day, it’s going to be you taking the necessary action on those ideas, suggestions, and recommendations, in order for you to personally benefit from them.

If you’re not clear on who you are, or like who you are, let me offer the following three tips for “embracing the real you”:

1. Love YOU like you want somebody else to. You’re familiar with the saying, we teach people how to treat us, right? Well, people know how to treat you by observing how you treat yourself. So love you like you want somebody else to. Too often women expect a knight in shining armor to come along and rescue them and make life good for them. Who knows, maybe he will, but let it first begin with you.
2. Be. Do. Have. Zig Ziglar said “You gotta be before you can do, you gotta do before you can have”. Time out for expecting others to do for you what you aren’t willing to do for you. You can’t expect your knight to show up if you’re not being who he’s looking for. This is how you get to have; by doing. But you don’t get to do without being. So, be who you truly are, and do what you need to do, so that you can have what’s due you.
3. Stop looking outside yourself for what you want–it’s IN you! Until you get to the place where you can look within and like that person, you won’t attract another person who will show up and care for you better than you do for you. It begins with self-love.

Embrace the real you.