So often I hear individuals talk about how much they love their partner or others they express as being important to them. In the same conversation, when I ask about self-care, they seem to see it as being selfish. Quite the opposite is true.

When you don’t care for yourself, not only is there no one else to do it for you, but others may not really be getting the care you’d like to think they are getting themselves. So, they may not be in a space to care for you; especially in the way you might need them to.

You really can’t love another without first loving yourself. You can’t give what you don’t have.

The topic of self-love really seems to baffle people, as the question I often get is “How do I love myself?”

It amazes me how people think they can love others without knowing how to love themselves. How would you begin to even think they’re getting love from you?

Let’s look at some ways you can show a lack of love toward yourself and see if you recognize any you might be doing. Ways you may show a lack of love toward yourself may include:

• Dishonoring your body by not giving it what it needs
• Dishonoring your time by letting others steal it from you
• Dishonoring your energy by not listening intently
• Dishonoring your space by not having proper boundaries
• Dishonoring and/or mis-managing your money by not keeping track

While dishonoring yourself in any of these ways is actually showing a lack of love toward yourself, to change the area you find yourself guilty in, simply reverse what you’re doing in that area.

For example, if you dishonor your body by not getting the proper rest or by not providing it the proper nutrients to give you the energy you need to do the things you need to do, then start doing these things and you will no longer be dishonoring your body.

When you love someone, you want them to take care of themselves, and even encourage it; but it’s a contradiction when you do the opposite for yourself.

So, the next time you say to someone they need to do something you know you’re not doing for yourself, let that be a reminder to you to do your own self-care first. Then you can not only suggest to your loved one what to do, but the reason to do it as well. This is your opportunity to show AND tell, as an example by honoring you and what you have been given control over; only yourself.

Self-love is the greatest way to actually show and share love to, for, and with others. And it makes you feel a lot better too. So, if you really want to love others, make sure you love YOU first!