There are more than just one or two kinds of relationships. Relationships can be defined in different ways by different people. You can be in a relationship with different people at the same time, from intimate, to family, to friends, to co-workers, etc.

Most times when I mention the word relationship, for the most part, people almost immediately think I’m referring to a couple in an intimate relationship. They may be married, living together, or may have been in some kind of partnership for some time. Actually, that’s not at all the only type of connection I’m speaking of when I talk about relationships.

I like the way Google defines relationship, which is similar to others; “the way in which two or more people are connected.” The root word in relationship is relate and relation, which describes some kind of connection or tie to another person. In this instance, you can see where I’m coming from when I say it’s not always referring to intimacy between two romantic partners.

Take me for example. I’m in many different types of relationships with many different people. They can also be termed as roles with individuals in the relationships. Let’s look at some of these relationships.

For example, as a woman, these are some of the relationships I’m in or have some connections to. I am a:

  • Daughter
  • Wife
  • Mother
  • Sister
  • Grandmother
  • Aunt
  • Cousin
  • Niece
  • Friend
  • Neighbor

Those are just to name a few. And yet, I didn’t even go into the areas of me as a woman in business or other professional types of relationships and activities I may participate in. See what I mean? They are all relationships I am in and a part of as well.

B-U-T, in each of these relationships, I am the common denominator in them. The example was of me as a woman. I am in each of these. In some way I am connected with someone else in these relationships.  Being the common connection in each of them says a lot more about me than it does about the others; especially if the same issues or problems show up in two or more of the relationships.

Relationships are mirrors of us in some way. They say something about us. If there is a consistent pattern in a few of these relationships, it would be natural for me to look more at me than at the others, because I’m only one person; the common denominator. Whereas, they are many.

So, for me, as a personal growth and relationship counselor, coach and consultant, my focus in any relationship is always the person in front of me. Why? Because any issue, challenge or concern they may have, begins with them in some way.

You may be confused, stressed or frustrated about a relationship you’re in. Who is here with the complaint? You, right? That’s where we begin. With you. With me. Each of my relationships are here to teach me something about me that I wouldn’t know, without them. That’s a good thing. Because I’ve chosen to be in the relationship for this very reason, whether I am aware of it or not. The same for you.

If there is anything you don’t particularly like about any of the relationships you’re in, it might be time to have a discussion with yourself. If you find that to be challenging and may be in need of support, reach out and connect. It could be the beginning of a new relationship; a relationship with yourself that you may not have had for a while.

I’m happy to support you in this journey if you so choose. Reply below and share your thoughts. Meanwhile, make the best of each of your relationships, beginning with YOU!

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