I have worked with and spoken to many different individuals and couples who thought and felt certain ways that were totally unfounded or just untrue, as it relates to relationships. Some of these have been known to destroy the relationship before it could get off to a good start. They are myths.
Seven of these relationship myths include:
- True love is not work. Often when couples get together or marry, it’s because they are in love (hopefully anyway). In the beginning, it seems like the honeymoon will last forever because the feelings are so strong. However, it doesn’t take long before you realize you are two totally separate and different people, and sometimes like things ONLY the way you like them. This can be challenging for any relationship, but it can survive with some work.
- If he loves me, I shouldn’t have to tell him what I’m thinking or what’s on my mind. What’s on your mind, is on YOUR He has his own thoughts! If you want him to know what’s on your mind, who better to tell him than you? Only you!
- Once you marry or fall in love, you won’t have any more attractions to anyone else. There are different things that cause a person to feel some attraction to another person, and that may change depending on what’s going on within the individual at any given point and time in their life. This does not change because you’re in a relationship.
- You don’t have to do anything else to maintain your relationship after you have won over your mate. Wrong! This never stops. Anything you get brand new must be managed and maintained to keep it as it was when you first got it. So, it is with your marriage and Don’t let it get dull and boring. Keep it sharpened.
- Real love lasts a lifetime. Real love “can” last a lifetime. Even real love can change, like the four seasons of the year (spring, summer, fall, and winter). Couples have different experiences throughout the life of their relationship, and depending on how they weather through some of those seasons life may bring, will determine how it turns out.
- You can expect the person you married to “always” remain the same. People grow, evolve, and change many times, throughout their life cycle alone, not to mention with the different experiences life tend to present (physical, mental, emotional, financial, health and wellness, etc.). Because things are always changing, you can expect the same to happen in the relationship as well.
- Your partner is responsible for your happiness. This is a great and heavy task to put on any one person. Who knows better what would make you feel good or happy than you? It is solely YOUR responsibility to see to your happiness. When you take this on as your purpose and mission in life, you will learn what actually makes you happy and then continue to rinse and repeat.
Such a burden can be placed on the other person in the relationship when you enter with these myths as true for you. It’s important to understand that life is what YOU make of it.
The more pressures you put on yourself and your loved one to make your relationship look like a typical romance novel or celebrity fiction, the greater the chances are that your relationship will end in another statistic.
Learn what it is you want for your own individual life and for the life of your relationship, and then create it to be tailored just for the two of you. This way you won’t have to be concerned about what’s true or not true, but what’s good and works for you. Make it a win-win for the both of you in your relationship. In the end, that’s a critical lasting factor!
What other relationship myths can you think of? Share them below.