It cannot be stressed enough how important it is to know and understand yourself; in such a way that you can help others know and understand you as well. This is paramount when it comes to relationships; especially with your significant other.

Being clear on who you are makes it easier to express yourself to your partner. Otherwise, you will play lots of guessing games in your relationship; and that’s no fun.

Part of knowing and understanding yourself is being clear on your requirements, needs and wants. If this is not clear in your relationship, you are bound to run into misunderstandings and not getting your needs met. In fact, this is the reason why couples have so many different challenges in their relationship; because one or more needs are going unmet.

When your needs go unmet, it may seem to him like a bunch of whining is going on, when all you want is to be heard and understood. It’s important that this is done in the very beginning of your relationship. It doesn’t mean it can’t be done later if you missed it. It just means that the sooner you’re clear, the better.

From time-to-time in relationships there might be some slip ups; even when you’re clear. Something might be going on with you or your partner at that time. When this happens, address it; not rudely. A mere mention of it may be enough; but to let it continue as is, might suggest that it’s okay and that you both agree with what’s happening.

If you haven’t been clear, allow this as a time to gain some clarity. Upon your awareness of a need going unmet, make it known and have a discussion from there about it.

We teach people how to treat us.

If someone is behaving in a way that disturbs you, don’t let it continue without saying something; because you’re establishing an unwanted pattern or habit to possibly continue. This makes you just as responsible as your partner for undesired outcomes. Habits are hard to break, because they fight to stay in our lives. So, stop old, negative, non-serving habits and bring on new ones.

Making this known is being clear about what you do and do not want in your life, or relationship. Be careful not to start what you don’t want to continue.

Try your best to have and maintain honest, upfront communication and connection. Express yourself and listen to your better half.

Ultimately, if you feel as if you’re putting more into the relationship than he is, you owe it to yourself and to him to share these feelings. If he genuinely cares, and you believe he does, something will change. If not, this should let you know who really needs to make a change.